FFD: Friends for Discharge

Just last night, I discovered that one of my Facebook 'friends' finally decided to 'un-friend' me. Only he (I'll call him *****) knew the exact fateful second when he clicked the x button beside my trembling profile picture in the 'edit friends' option that finally gave me the stranger boot. Ouch.

This is how it happened: it was past 11 and I was still restless. FB had to be the pacifier for the night. As I was typing a friend's name in the search box, ***** also appeared in the choices (since his name has chronological letters resembling the former's). Luckily(?), FB recently enhanced its search feature; thus, paving way for my not-so-landmark-discovery. I didn't know what came over me, but I clicked the thumbnail that led to his account -- and, viola, there appeared on top of his profile the 'add as friend' button. My jaw dropped. (Well, not really. Hehe.) How could I add him as a friend when he's a friend already -- or was?

Then, it all made sense. Okay, he had decided that our so-called friendship now belongs to the bygones bin. Too bad.

However, he wasn't really a 'friend' (of course, if we're after the ordinary definition of the term, not the social network-ish type); he just added me once upon a time for the sake of surveillance, for the lack of a better word. (We haven't met even once. It just happens that I am, say, deeply connected to one of his, uh, quests; hence, his curiosity. Go figure.) I was completely aware of such agenda, but I didn't care. I opted to feed his hunger for information. Apathy is empathy. Now, it is apparent that his espionage is over; thus, my place in his friends' list serves no other purpose, except maybe to remind him that in every list, there's one odd out. Or maybe the mere publication of my posts in his home wall or my humongous pa-cute profile pictures finally got the best of him. No sour grapes there -- or are there?

Social networks really are funny sometimes. They say, such networks are founded to bring people closer -- physically, romantically, or what-have-you. Nowadays though it seems the purpose clause of the social networks has expanded to include alienation or further estrangement of so-called friends, like what happened to ***** and yours truly.

In fact, it is already a bore if a social network denizen compares the number of his [social network] friends to one of his perceived more popular friend's own. (If he wins, the triumph only lasts for a good lonesome minute and only in that social sphere, if it may be appropriately called so, since in the real world, the latter really has more friends -- the moving ones, with no duplicates or pseudonyms -- and the former is just too conceited to admit such bummer fact.) Hence, to give one social network habitue's networking life and self-esteem a boost, spying on or lambasting co-Facebookers, for example, somewhat gives his morale its tap on the shoulder. It really is funny. Well, I, too, am guilty of these guilty pleasures.

Then, there's the segregation. Facebook ought to have notifications or wall posts which say, "***** removed you as a friend," or "You are no longer friends with *****. [Comment] [Like] [Share]" Hahaha.

Indeed, it is unfortunate that I and my former FB buddy have to end our FB experience on a sour note. But, hey, life -- and social networking -- go on. So, for you, reader (if there is!), if you haven't invited me to FB yet, find my profile (that's Martin General, thank you very much), click the 'add as friend' button and wait. Don't worry, I won't be clicking that x button beside your overly pa-cute profile picture. :)

"A feeling I never outgrew..."

I am reading between the lines...
and they are crooked.

Turbulence

Funny how the obvious becomes such only when it's already too late to make it so.
Funny how things seem when persistence paves way for reason.
And funny how the truth makes all a lie, all of a sudden.

Yoyo

you looked at the pillar.
then, the others.
i didn't move.
but my eyes did.

you gave me a wave.
then, another.
still, i didn't move.
still, my eyes did.

then... i did.
i did move.
one step. two. three.
i was running.

then you made a whisper.
i didn't hear you; you weren't shouting.
i needed you to tremble me.
to stop me... from running.

you whispered again.
my feet listened, but nothing else did.
i stopped running.
quickly. randomly. undecidedly.

why can't you raise your voice any higher?
now, my feet are moving again.
walking.
walking?

Reshuffling

I want to hug you so tight and tell you I hate you so.

I want to hit you and tell you how much -- how much -- I love you.

3rd Strike

It's over. But, my road still has its crosses and sunrises. I'm leaving that place I have dwelt in not so comfortably -- though happily -- for almost a year. My journey is still long. Even though I have dreamed, or vainly thought, of trekking my pathways with no void beside me, I guess now I have to bear the solitude. This has a reason... and I know someday, somehow it will make sense.

MWHD

I have got no time for thinking for I only have a few words.

Three words.

And you know I always do. :)