The "Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss" Ending

okay, i am not supposed to be writing this not only because doing so will surely ruin my reading schedule but also for the sake of this almost busted pc, which has been running overtime. it's almost 3 a.m., for the love of sleep! but tragically, i can't contain myself after watching this movie i've downloaded through the web (infringer may be the word). yes, "Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss." surprise!

you may ask, "why - of all the movies being circulated by pirates on the web - did I choose to have this movie downloaded?" it's a very long story actually. to cut to the chase, i did so because it has one of the actors who has also starred in my current favorite film, "Shelter." maybe my fascination for the latter film has gone far beyond obsession that: 1) i've already seen it 6 times maybe in the past two weeks; 2) i have flooded my iTunes with its soundtrack; and 3) i have made a review of it knowing it won't be read by even a bored bummer. it was way over obsession that i even extended my near insanity to other films whose similarities may be too vague but weirdly conspicuous to "Shelter." so that's how "Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss" came up. yes, both have Brad Rowe in them.

okay, after 2 days of continuously shifting my attention from a law book (which i was supposed to finish a week ago) to the monitor to check on the progress of my download (1.3 GB is no joke!), i finally found myself on my bed earlier this evening, watching the first minutes of this movie in my iPod.

you may find it eccentric or plain weird, but maybe for the lack of any alternative to "mush," i deviated recently my attention to a more appeasing yet less physically real medium: film. so you could just imagine my excitement... the anticipation that the next 1.5 hrs. or so would be another trip to movie bliss - or to the closeness of quasi-romance of the imaginary kind. (seemed redundant.)

but... damn you, Brad.

3 minutes before the end credits, i was in movie hell. i never thought that 5 seconds of a movie scene could bring me that close to attempted self-annihilation... until that time. panicking, i got out of my room, went straight to the pc, grabbed the keyboard, typed the words "imdb," searched for the movie, checked the fora, and confirmed if what i saw was really what i saw but wished i didn't.

but, damn you, Brad, i did see it. what you did in the beach really was a total downer... a perfect disappointment... an ending fit for the guillotine. not even the movie's last few minutes - which were presumably meant to uplift even the tiniest fragment of the viewer's soul - saved me from feeling worse than Billy, who was played brilliantly by Sean Hayes (of the "Will and Grace" fame).

okay, for the enlightenment of those who haven't had the chance to watch the film (it was shown in the 90's and it was a pink film, for Cher's sake!), here's a nutshell: Billy was a homosexual photographer who just broke up with his Latino lover/bigamy follower. one day, he met this waiter, Gabe (Brad Rowe), and instantly had a crush on him. Billy offered him a modeling stint in a photo shoot where the latter would be reenacting scenes from classic romance movies. Gabe agreed. as the movie progressed, the two sort of bonded (for the lack of a better phrase). maybe because of the circumstances and Billy's psychological misgivings - projection, as one of the characters put such - he began doubting Gabe's sexual preference and even thought that he could have a shot with the hotshot model. (btw, Gabe had a girlfriend and was "apparently" straight. note: 1st 40 mins. of the film.)

then it happened: when Gabe spent the night at Billy's. at first, Gabe decided to sleep on the couch. Billy was already being overcome by a nervous breakdown then since his doubts were almost - ALMOST - being confirmed (from Gabe's gestures to the words well endowed with twin interpretations. just see the movie and you'll know what i mean). so, after going to his room, he scurried back to the sala and offered Gabe to sleep with him on his bed since Gabe's legs were "too long" for the couch. he declined. Billy went back to his room, frustrated.

then - viola! - Gabe entered the room and got on the bed. after a sentence or two, they said goodnight. Gabe turned his back on Billy... then tried to sleep (or pretended to), took off his shirt after 5 seconds (with his back still turned), and tried to sleep again (or pretended to). Billy, who visibly almost could not control his testosterone anymore, had his arm touch Gabe's back. it could be seen then that Gabe wasn't asleep yet. suddenly feeling guilty or bothered, Billy removed his arm. then came the answer: Gabe pushed his back closer to Billy's arm and the foreplay was initiated. Billy was all over Gabe's body! it was almost a typical gay dream coming true but Billy made one fatal mistake: kissing Gabe - on the lips. it was a surprise, of course. the night was over all of a sudden. bummer.

then the movie continued: Gabe got a modeling break and left for Catalina (an island off the coast of L.A., i guess). Billy meanwhile was worse than confused. feeling he had to choose between risking or counting "what-could-haves," he decided to follow Gabe to settle the matter.

now the ending: Billy confronted Gabe in the beach. he told him that he was sorry for what happened the other night and that he was very willing to help him go through the process of "coming out," etc., etc., etc.

in sum , Billy was confessing his love and offering his advisory services - his soul - for free. it was already getting clear here that Gabe wasn't that straight after all. but geez, just tell him you love him, too, and just kiss him! (that's what every sane viewer wanted after all!)

but then... then... then the bringer of the sad ending appeared: Gabe's boyfriend! (also a model and a pretty face.) dammit. for the love of Lance Bass, the boyfriend had to come out from behind the rocks, shouting for Gabe, with that questioning look on his faggoty face! like Billy in the scene, my jaw dropped like it never dropped that low before in my life. worse, before slapping Billy with the sucking truth and then hugging the cheesecake boyfriend, Gabe stated, "i'm pretty sure what i'm supposed to want." in other words, "you're nice and all, Billy. i'm just not interested."

dammit.

technically, it wasn't the ending. it was more like this: Billy's career skyrocketed... his friend confessed a secret admiration... Billy had a very prospective love catch... blah... blah... blah.
but really, who would care if you already had guns targeted at Gabe's head, ready for firing, even before the credits rolled???

honestly, i've never been affected by a movie ending as extremely as this that i even have to post this blog at 4 in the morning! (already? agh!)

but for giving the movie a "realistic" spin, my commendations are generous. the movie still rocked - painfully though.

what's with the disappointment/mild rage, anyhow? maybe it was the anticipation of a very happy ending (that exploded like unwanted gas in a closed room) or the oh-so-circumstantial relevance of the ending in my oh-so-Shakespearean-tragedy stint in the game of sh-love (more like slob)...

or maybe the very medium, which i've relied upon for the realization of a happy ending even at least behind the spaces of real life, have decided to withhold such for the time being... well, until the next pink movie.

postscript: Brad Rowe still have the rocks in my book. more on "Shelter" later.